If I’m actually the first person to create an animated gif of this, I will be amazed.

Songs from the Billboard 100 paired with personality disorders.*
*Based on titles and/or content, likely incorrect, incomplete, and the opposite of P.C.

Nelly – “Just A Dream” (Delusional Disorder)
Bruno Mars – “Grenade” (Dependent Personality Disorder)
Eminem ft. Rihanna – “Love the Way You Lie” (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Rihanna – “Only Girl in the World” (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
Rihanna ft. Drake – “What’s My Name” (Histrionic Personality Disorder)
Mike Posner – “Cooler Than Me” (Avoidant Personality Disorder)
P!nk – “Raise Your Glass” (Schizotypal Personality Disorder)
Kanye West ft. Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj & Bon Iver – “Monster” (Antisocial Personality Disorder)
Cee Lo Green – “F*ck You” (Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder)
Katy Perry – “Firework” (Pyromania)
Chris Brown – “Yeah 3x” (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder)

(Clearly, Rihanna’s got issues.)

To keep with tradition, here is my list of “best” in 2010, albums and songs. With my top albums packed with stand-out tracks, choosing my favorite songs was damn near impossible. I chose my favorite by each artist, and I could still barely fit in everything I wanted, so I doubled the list to accommodate (I know that almost defeats the purpose, but even narrowing down to 20 was difficult).

Without further ado, here’s my list, complete with tiny liner notes for explanation if you find yourself wondering what the hell I was thinking.

Top 10 albums
10. Hans Zimmer – “Inception OST”
Disregarding my permanent soft spot for orchestral tunes, Zimmer’s “Inception” score was still strong enough to earn a spot on this list. There’s something about this album as a whole that manages to grab me emotionally and raise my blood pressure a bit.
9. Massive Attack – “Heligoland (Deluxe Edition)”
When I read this Pitchfork review early in the year, I expected to be completely disappointed. Yeah, the tracks are melancholy (…isn’t that to be expected?) and maybe a little “hopeless”, but that doesn’t make the music any less great. The remixes on the deluxe edition really added extra points to this grade for me. Headphones strongly encouraged.
8. Two Door Cinema Club – “Tourist History”
A fun album that always seems to erase all negative energy. Though it’s a strong album all-around, it’s one that I had to be in the right mood for. I’ve been hooked on “What You Know” and “Come Back Home” since the first listen.
7. The Black Keys – “Brothers”
Groovy. As. Hell. I was shocked at how many times I repeated this one, to be honest. It’s been used most often as background music while at work, and I rated most of the tracks at three stars, but repeatability and play counts bumped it up significantly. Still solid overall.
6. Local Natives – “Gorilla Manor”
Cool percussion, layered instrumentals, sweet harmonizing vocals and a relaxing vibe. It reminded me a lot of Foals’ release but with a little more folk rock influence. This is some cold weather, tired-but-happy, quiet-time-with-your-thoughts kind of music.
5. Jónsi – “Go”
I listened to this for the first time the night before interviewing for my current job, and I honestly believe it had an impact on my success. There are not many albums that I would describe as “inspirational”, but there’s no better word in this case…Except for “beautiful”, maybe.
4. Kanye West – “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy”
Dislike the man all you want, but this album is art. Unbelievable guest artists, quality lyricism, lots of variety, solid beats and a lot more depth than one would typically expect from this genre. Listen to “Blame Game” featuring John Legend if you need to confirm that Kanye does, in fact, have a human soul.
3. Minus the Bear – “OMNI”
When this album dropped in May, I described it as “the sexiest thing I’ve heard in a long time”, and it still rings true. I don’t have much else to say about this one except for the fact that I love each track for a different reason, and “My Time” had me dancing out of bed for probably two months straight over the summer.
2. Foals – “Total Life Forever”
This album is not one to listen to, but one to experience. There are so many simple instrumental parts layered on top of one another that I find something new to love on each listen. This is one of those albums where my favorite track has moved around to (almost) all of them at some point.
1. Circa Survive – “Blue Sky Noise”
Choosing this album as my favorite was influenced by one additional factor: seeing it performed live. Few things are more incredible than hearing “I Felt Free” while looking toward the sky at the stars and confetti above. The instrumentals are complex and refined, my favorite track might as well be a twelve-way-tie, and Anthony Green hits notes that I can only dream of. This band is such a force to be reckoned with, I hope they can continue to outdo themselves as they have for the past few years.

Top 20 songs
20. Band of Horses – “Compliments”
This song feels a little old school, and I like that. I wish I loved the album as much as I love this song.
19. Crystal Castles – “Violent Dreams”
Excellent, especially the slow build-up to 1:40.
18. Deadmau5 – “Raise Your Weapon (feat. Greta Svabo Bech)”
Piano, pretty voice, and a beat that takes an unexpected turn (I don’t want to spoil it for you).
17. Massive Attack – “Saturday Come Slow”
This song rips my soul to pieces in the best possible way.
16. Coheed and Cambria – “Here We Are Juggernaut”
It’s just a shame the rest of “Year of the Black Rainbow” was so weak.
15. Gorillaz – “Empire Ants (feat. Little Dragon)”
The second half is the best, but it would be nothing without the first. Again, headphones recommended.
14. Florence + The Machine – “Heavy in Your Arms”
My favorite F+tM track ever, and yeah…it’s from a “Twilight” movie.
13. Paper Tongues – “Trinity”
I once listened to this song on repeat for almost an entire day without realizing it.
12. Local Natives – “Sun Hands”
A little folky and a lot awesome. I love the drums/vocals and the change of pace at 3:15.
11. The Arcade Fire – “We Used to Wait”
Did you see the video? No additional explanation required.
10. Jónsi – “Go Do”
Again, just an all-around beautiful and inspirational track.
9. The Black Keys – “Tighten Up”
I live for the 2:30 breakdown. Mmmhmm.
8. Gayngs – “Faded High”
This song is so strange/trippy/chill/delicious. I suggest you find it and listen ASAP.
7. Kyle Andrews – “Bombs Away”
Likely the first and last time a song from a Doritos commercial makes anybody’s top ten.
6. Two Door Cinema Club – “What You Know”
If I wasn’t dancing to “My Time” while getting ready in the morning, I was dancing to this.
5. Mumford & Sons – “Little Lion Man”
I may never tire of this one. (Technically, the single was released in ’09, but the album didn’t drop in the US until this year.)
4. Kanye West  – “Monster (feat. Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj & Bon Iver)”
I’m still waiting for an opportunity to slip some of Nicki Minaj’s lyrics into conversation.
3. Minus the Bear – “Secret Country”
The breakdown at 2:50 is my favorite part of the entire album. Others that fit here: “Hold Me Down”, “Animal Backwards” and “My Time”.
2. Foals – “Blue Blood”
When the vocals stops echoing at 1:20, I get chills. Runners-up: “Black Gold” and “What Remains”.
1. Circa Survive – “Get Out”
This barely beats “Imaginary Enemy” and “Glass Arrows”. I’m still trying to fix my melted face.

Biggest Disappointments
10 Years – “Feeding the Wolves”
Coheed and Cambria – “Year of the Black Rainbow”
Deftones – “Diamond Eyes”

Comparing this to my ’09 list, there has been a significant transition out of heavy post-hardcore rock and into mellow, electronic-infused soft rock with echoey vocals. And that style is becoming really popular, apparently.

Anticipated for 2011
City and Colour, The Mars Volta, The Lonely Island, Cage the Elephant, Radiohead, The Dear Hunter (fingers crossed) and whatever weird iPad thing Damon Albarn is doing for Gorillaz (I think it came out over Christmas, but I can’t remember). What else should I look forward to in ’11?

ABOUT THIS JOB:
Goulash (plural, “goulashes”) is a traditional Hungarian dish usually made of beef, onions, vegetables and spices. Long story short, I made way to effing much of it, and am in need of someone to help me eat it before it goes bad. A photo of the project is below:

This is a one-time project for trade only (I give you food, you get food). If successful, I may consider bringing you on for future endeavors if you so choose. MUST be available to start immediately. May check in with me to acquire necessary materials and work remotely. No inquiries will be considered after Monday, July 19th.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

• Reporting directly to your supervisor (aka: me) for instruction/critiques
• Consuming all goulash provided in a timely manner
• Eating quietly
• Returning all dishes upon completion

REQUIREMENTS:

• At least 5+ years of experience eating and/or playing with food
• Must not be allergic to onions, green peppers, tomato sauce or whatever the hell else I put in this thing
• Inexperienced eaters and vegetarians need not apply

Please submit a brief description of your qualifications in the comments section below on or before July 18th. Good luck!

Thank you, America! I have received my refund, and my checking account is feeling mighty fine. Uh, I mean my savings? Yeah, savings.

Really, though, I’m a compulsive saver. But there are a few things I’ve been holding out for, and now that I have some flex cash, I might actually get ‘em:

Shari’s Berries
YES. Ever since tasting the magic that is Shari’s white chocolate + coconut covered strawberry, my thirst for sweets has been unquenchable. Honestly, I saved the wrapper to the first one I ever had. Smelled the thing whenever I need a pick-me-up. It sounds so stupid, but it’s so true. Just look at them. The fastest way to my heart is through my stomach (fact: that cliché does not apply to men alone).

Flowers
The 16-year-old me would think this is stupid, because “flowers in vases pretty much just chill there to die.”  So, maybe I grew up. Flowers make a room smell awesome. They look nice. Plus, flowers are classy, and I’d like to pretend like I live more lavishly than I actually do. They would go in my bedroom until I get the sneezes.

AIGA membership renewal
If I want to keep going on cool trips and have an excuse to wear my favorite hydrant yellow vest, I guess I’d better get a new membership card.

Desk
I’m in denial about how much I actually need one of these. If I use my couch and coffee table any longer, I’ll be paying for a chiropractor, too.

Chipotle
You know that thing I said about food? Extra money = extra trips to my favorite not-quite-Mexican-but-close-enough fast-ish food establishment.

New clothes
I ask for clothing for Christmas and my birthday (and any random occasions in between), and that has sustained my wardrobe since high school. I hate shopping. Hate. It fills me with rage. So, I’ll limit my clothes shopping to short errands or online. Preferably the latter (really like the internet, really dislike people).

But let’s be honest: I probably won’t actually buy these things I desperately want (and in the desk/wardrobe case, it’s more of a need). I’ve already paid for a maintenance package on the ol’ Rav4, bought a plane ticket to Dallas, and I’ll likely dump the rest into my savings account and pretend like it was never there. I guess that’s not a bad habit to have…

I can’t help but wonder, though: Would I have received a bigger return if I had used these guys to calculate my returns instead?

Photoshop win.