ABOUT THIS JOB:
Goulash (plural, “goulashes”) is a traditional Hungarian dish usually made of beef, onions, vegetables and spices. Long story short, I made way to effing much of it, and am in need of someone to help me eat it before it goes bad. A photo of the project is below:
This is a one-time project for trade only (I give you food, you get food). If successful, I may consider bringing you on for future endeavors if you so choose. MUST be available to start immediately. May check in with me to acquire necessary materials and work remotely. No inquiries will be considered after Monday, July 19th.
RESPONSIBILITIES:
- Reporting directly to your supervisor (aka: me) for instruction/critiques
- Consuming all goulash provided in a timely manner
- Eating quietly
- Returning all dishes upon completion
REQUIREMENTS:
- At least 5+ years of experience eating and/or playing with food
- Must not be allergic to onions, green peppers, tomato sauce or whatever the hell else I put in this thing
- Inexperienced eaters and vegetarians need not apply
Please submit a brief description of your qualifications in the comments section below on or before July 18th. Good luck!


Hi.
My name is Aubrey, kind of like yours!
I am interested in applying for the food consumption specialist, I have many years experience in consuming foods such as goulash. I am not a vegetarian and I chew with my mouth closed.
I hope you are interested in hiring me for the position,
If you need to get a hold of me you can reach me at this email anytime!
Thanks,
Aubrey